So, you’re in love and have decided to finally take the plunge. While love should definitely be the driving force for a couple to make the decision of getting married, the success of a marriage or any long-term relationship depends a lot on many practical issues as well. Ignoring these may cause problems in your future married life and it is best to talk it over with your partner before actually walking down the aisle.
Here are ten important things that you should make sure to discuss with your future spouse before tying the knot.
Probably the most important thing to consider is your thoughts about children. Don’t assume that just because your partner wants to get married, his or her attitude about children will be the same as yours.
You should discuss whether you both want to have children or not. If you do want to have children, how many? Would you like to start a family immediately after marriage or would you like to wait a few years? You may also want to discuss how the responsibilities of taking care of an infant will be shared, especially if career is important for both of you.
You may also want to consider talking about how you would like to raise your children. This is especially important if both of you come from a different religious or community background.
2. Previous Debt
If you are thinking of walking down the aisle with the love of your life, you may want to have an open-hearted discussion about your debts. The other partner should be aware of the amount of debt that you are taking into the marriage. Who will be taking care of repaying the debt after marriage? Just because your partner has a huge debt, does he or she expect you to take care of running the household expenses? You may also want to pool in your money together and pay off both your debts before beginning a new life.
3. Approach to Spending Money
You should also consider each other’s approach to spending money. Some people are careful savers who want to save money for future goals, while others are spendthrifts living for the moment. A similar approach to spending will make your relationship stronger. Even if you are a spendthrift and your partner is a saver, your marriage can be successful if you find a middle road in your spending habits.
4. Sharing of Household Expenses
Make sure to discuss who will have the primary responsibility as far as finances are concerned. Will the man be responsible for taking care of the household expenses? Do you plan on sharing the expenses? If you plan on dividing the expenses between the two of you, how do you plan on doing it? You may also want to open a joint account for funding your household expenses and contributing an equal amount to it every month.
Most people feel uncomfortable talking about sex. However, sex plays an important role in the success of any marriage. Of course, you may already know a lot about each other’s sexual appetite and preferences. However, things often change a few months after a marriage. Both of you should have a flexible attitude about sex and should be able to continue discussing about it even after many years of marriage. This ensures that the sexual needs of each partner are satisfied and your relationship gets stronger as the years go by. So, the time to start is now.
Your religious and spiritual practices can make or break your marriage. So, make sure to discuss this openly with your partner. You may want to discuss about how important is religion for both of you? Are you from a different religious or spiritual background? If yes, do you and your partner respect each others religious approach? Are you fine with your partner and you going to different churches or places of worship? Will you allow your children to choose their own spiritual approach or would you like them to follow your religious practices?
7. Spending Your Free Time
It is, of course, wonderful to snuggle up and watch a romantic movie on a cold weekend night. However, do you want to spend all your free time with your spouse? If not, will your partner have issues with it? You may want to go for those occasional night outs with your friends and that too without your spouse. But is your partner fine with it and what will he or she be doing while you are out having a great time. Make sure to discuss these things to avoid unnecessary disappointments in the future.
8. Household Chores
It is important to discuss how household chores are going to be divided. The house is no longer considered to be the woman’s domain. With many women opting to focus on their careers and continuing to work after marriage, it is important that the man in the relationship understands that he will have to take equal responsibility for household chores. So, who is going to take care of the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, or the mowing of the lawn? Who will take the responsibility of going for the groceries?
9. Decision Making
For a successful marriage, important decisions should be taken after discussions between the two partners and the feelings of each person should be given due respect. You may want to discuss how important decisions are going to be made in your marriage. For example, if one of you is better at managing goals such as purchasing a house, he or she may be the right one to take the final decision on how to save the money for it. However, it is important that both the partners agree on it.
Disagreements are part of every relationship. However, a healthy and positive approach to resolving arguments can strengthen a marriage whereas an unhealthy approach can end it. So, you may want to discuss how you plan on handling your arguments. Furthermore, you may also want to discuss about handling the causes of your arguments. Keep in mind that stress is part of everyone’s life. If handled in the right way, it will not lead to unnecessary arguments. If they do, it may be a good idea to sit and discuss, rather than try to blame the other person or prove that you are always right.
* Courtesy of www.uncoverdiscover.com