How to avoid painful sex

If you've ever felt discomfort while having sex, you're not alone. Research has found that nearly 1 in every 10 women in the UK, experience pain during sex. This can have a detrimental impact on both your physical and mental wellbeing. Thankfully, there are actions you can take to avoid this discomfort and develop a more rewarding relationship with your partner.

Why does painful sex matter?

Painful sex is not something that should just be swept under the rug! You shouldn’t experience pain with something that is supposed to be pleasurable. The reason you are experiencing pain could be a result of many different factors such as stress, trauma, urinary tract infections, underlying pelvic conditions or even relationship problems.

A surprisingly common underlying health condition that can cause pain during sex is vaginismus. This refers to the involuntary contraction of the pelvic muscles during penetration or attempted penetration. It’s not just sex – this can also occur when inserting tampons, and can cause issues with pelvic exams, like smear tests. The truth is that fear of painful sex can impact intimacy with your partner and also impact confidence. It is very easy for it to escalate and become a much larger issue. Therefore, it is extremely important to consult your GP or gynaecologist if you experience pain at any point before, during or after vaginal penetration to deal with it as soon as it arises.

Top Tips: How to avoid painful sex

To make your experience more enjoyable, here are some tips you can try to make sex more comfortable:

Lubrication: Lubrication can work wonders if you experience discomfort during sex. The market is filled with plenty of water-based lubes in all sorts of flavours and sensations. Choose one based on your liking and have fun exploring!

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): A past traumatic experience, poor relationship dynamics with your partner, and stress can all potentially be triggers for conditions like vaginismus. Your GP or gynaecologist may suggest CBT to help you learn coping strategies, reduce anxiety, and overcome any apprehension about vaginal penetration.

Set the mood: Sex is as much about mental stimulation as it is physical. Spend time getting in the mood, investing in foreplay and everything else surrounding penetrative sex. If your mind is stimulated, your body is likely to follow suit.

Communication: It is really important to maintain an open dialogue with your partner. Your partner wouldn’t want you to be hurting, so tell them if sex is painful. This enables them to understand what’s going on from your perspective, leading to increased emotional connection. Talking about how you feel can build up trust between you and your partner, resulting in better intimacy. They can also support you through any treatment if necessary.

If you experience any discomfort and/or pain during sex, it’s important to seek professional advice. Your GP or gynaecologist may suggest Botox injections. Strange as it may sound, Botox is an increasingly common vaginismus treatment that can be really effective at relaxing the muscles around the vagina. Botox is often used in conjunction with dilators. A well-known treatment for vaginismus, vaginal dilators can help you gently stretch the vaginal muscles. These tools can help to gradually make penetration more comfortable.

Getting the right support

Knowing when to seek help from a medical professional is crucial for improving your sex life and general wellbeing. Persistent discomfort, difficulty with penetration, and involuntary muscle spasms during attempted intercourse are all common symptoms of vaginismus. When sex causes tension and dread due to pain rather than pleasure, that’s a strong indicator that professional help is needed.

Paving the way for a happier sex life

With the right guidance and treatment, painful sex can be treated effectively. Surrounding yourself with loved ones can provide you with emotional support, and maintaining an open dialogue with your partner can make the journey easier. Try out our advice above and if you still feel discomfort, it may be time to seek guidance from your healthcare professional for assistance getting your sex life back on track.